Compendia . . .
from J. A. Hirsch
Love
27 December, 2004
Hannah and Sami both forwarded this at about the same time:
A group of professional people posed this question to a group
of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were
broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just
know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of
your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she
takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My
Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen,"
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a
friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving
and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore,"
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me
to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still
says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you"
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget,"
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was
to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart.)
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor
was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man
cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap
and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
How do you know love when you see it?
******
Sami has a Christmas Story for people having a bad day....
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce
the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the
pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed
Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about
to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had
hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he
accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little
pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the
broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He
opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas
tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
******
Bunny talks about dogs - (and I thought dogs chased bunnies):
DOGS: The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead
of his tongue.-Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful. -Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went. -Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben
Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are
incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down. -Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin
P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get
used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. -Dave Miliman
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket
and then giving Fido only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
-Unknown
******
Murray K. suggests that you may substitute another group for "Newfie"', but why would anybody other than a Newfie want to go to St. Johns?
The Newfie* and Priest
A Priest was seated next to a Newfie on a flight to St. John's.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Newfie asked for a rye and coke, which was brought and
placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the priest
if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen
whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Newfie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
******
...and Bonnie has some words on Grandmas & Grandkids
(some of these we've heard before, many are new.)
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in
line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them
with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!"
a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy
dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your
freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said,
while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are
beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother.
"Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy
thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly
whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood
was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
are we alike?" "You're both old," he said.
*********************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised."Mine says I'm four.
***********************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to
discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off thy neighbor's wife,"
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie
we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes
with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the
middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the
submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was
the 20,000 leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother "Mom, guess
what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool "That's interesting," she said, "How do
you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to
"i" and add "es". (Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one???)
**************************************** "
Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy
wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the
lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently, "It means carrying a child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had
made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men
in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is
soldiers in your cup!"
***********************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said
another, "he's just for good luck" A third child brought the argument to a
close..."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
******
-30-